some healing principles i've used for 30+years

THE TENETS OF ATTITUDINAL HEALING

The essence  of our being  is Positive, Constructive, and Self-Correcting ("I am light")

Attitudinal Healing regards our primary identity as spiritual, and affirms that each individual possesses a quality of being or inner nature that is immanently positive and constructive because it is essentially loving or compassionate.  This loving nature is inherent, and therefore always present and available.  We suggest that when we are not experiencing our naturally loving or compassionate nature, it is because fear is blocking our ability to do so.
 

Health Is Inner Peace, Healing Is Letting Go of Fear
It takes some form of fear to trigger a stressful, painful response to people or situations, meaning that prolonged psychological distress is essentially the function of a fearful attitude. By definition, inner peace is the end of psychological distress.  It is a dynamic, transforming state of mind that makes us larger than circumstance, even in the most difficult situations.  Fear, on the other hand, is the loss of personal power, both internally and interpersonally. Choosing to be at peace is a return to the calm, clarity, and sense of dignity that is the seat of personal power. 

Neuroscience has found that a sustained shift toward inner peace not only leads to greater cognitive power and emotional stability; it also establishes the mind-body connection that maintains physical health.  Therefore, health is inner peace.  Attitudinal Healing suggests we consciously make peace of mind our single inner goal in approaching all our outer goals.

We Are Not Victims of The World We See
It is not people or circumstances outside ourselves that cause us conflict or distress.  Rather it is our own thoughts, feelings and attitudes about people and events, regardless of circumstances. By exploring these patterns we can eventually heal them by choosing to no longer find value in them.

The Purpose of Communication Is Joining
The true purpose of communication is joining, not separation. Attaining and sustaining our connection to others invovles a willingness to listen with an open heart and relate non-judgmentally, accepting the person exactly as they are without the need for them to change, and holding an unconditional positive regard for their person.  Each instant offers the opportunities to shift from separation to connection by shifting the way we communicate. 

Forgiveness Is The Key To Well Being
Forgiveness releases the present from the past and thereby frees the future.  Forgiveness is defined as a process of letting go of our attachment to the past. By letting go of our grievances we are no longer bound by a painful past projecting a bitter future.

Forgiving does not mean that we condone actions that are immoral or harmful.  Nor does it necessarily mean that we allow a misguided person back into our lives. Rather it is a way of achieving an internal response to the past that liberates the present from the emotional pain we are recycling.  It is the recognition that "unforgiveness" is a decision to suffer and that forgiveness is a decision to reclaim our inner peace.

We Are Rarely Upset for the Reason We Think
We are rarely upset for the reason we think because we see something that is not there.  What we often see is the painful past, which makes us prone to incessant thinking that misperceives people and situations, inventing worse case scenarios.  Often the best prescription for quieting an upset is to stop thinking painful thoughts.

Now Is The Only Time There Is
The present moment is the only time that is real, it is the only moment in which we actually exist.  The past resides in memory; the future in imaginings.  If we are pointlessly preoccupied with the past and future, we miss this moment and to miss this moment is to miss our lives.